Courtney looking up and knowing where she would be in a few short weeks.
The JOY on her face is just breathtaking...
She's sneaky that way.
Once again, my daughter has gotten her own way. Gee, color me surprised.
Things are beginning to very slowly come back into focus. Sleep is easier than a month ago. My appetite is slowly returning. Jerry and I are getting used to our new found freedom. We are taking the time to learn how to be a couple again. We are spending time with Jonathan learning how to communicate without Courtney in the daily picture.
We are rebuilding our family one day at a time.
I still walk into her room and cry. I still find myself watching the clock to make sure I keep her feeding/med schedule. I even got the blender out yesterday morning to be prepared. I still walk through the children's section of the book store or library looking for good books to read to her. I still look online for cute sweaters or soft clothes to keep her warm.
I know the automatic response to do these things will slowly fade away but for now, it's how I am coping. It will take some time for twenty-two years of training to be reprogrammed in this brain of mine.
In time all will be well.